in spanish, it's esperanza; in french, espoir

do you ever get the feeling you're moving backwards with every forward step you take? sometimes i wonder if my life is going in reverse. i'm worrying about homework and deadlines for papers and deciding whether i can afford to go out drinking on the weekends while other people i know are buying houses and having babies. it's frustrating to feel like i'm always one step behind.

but then i go to a show and see someone perform that is truly an inspiration to me and i remember that every step i've taken has lead me to this place, this moment. and all i can do is hope. i will write and sing and perform and try not to let myself get overwhelmed by all the things that are going on.

all i can do is hope that i have made the right decisions. all i can do i hope that i will succeed and for once, this once, the things that i want so badly will happen to me (us) and we will have everything we dreamed of and talked about. all i can do is hope that we can hang onto to each other and ourselves. all i can do is hope is that i'll get to thank him (them) for being the voice in my ear and the soundtrack of my most important summer (fall, year).

all i can do is hope.

all we can ever do is hope.


on the radio: hallelujah - jeff buckley